¡despiértate!: 2014

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Transitions

I just returned from Charlottesville, Virginia, and have just a little time to put some thoughts down before I go to work at the restaurant where I have been employed for the last year. It still seems barely real that in a few short weeks I will be starting a new chapter in C'ville.

Where is all this coming from? I wanted to write a blog to explain some of the things that I know I will otherwise be repeating in stories to people. The summary, I got a job with Habit for Humanity of Greater Charlottesville and will be doing work that combines Family Services and outreach in the Southwood community. My experience as an AmeriCorps with Chatham Habitat for Humanity will be greatly at play, along with relationship and trust building in a unique setting.

A little about C'ville Habitat and why I'm SO excited to be joining that affiliate. Charlottesville suffers from the same high land costs that exist in many areas, which make building affordable housing extremely difficult. C'ville Habitat has been on a journey of change from home-building and selling under the traditional Habitat for Humanity paradigm to a shift toward innovation and constant change. The most relevant aspect of this to my current story is that they have been working to develop two trailer parks into Habitat housing. They are the first Habitat affiliate to attempt this, and they did not go into it with all the answers, but rather with a moral obligation to help people who were going to be displaced from what was already sub-standard housing.
Sunrise was the first community to be developed, and while work remains to be done, there are a number of duplexes and an apartment that have been built there, with a combination of partner families who have purchased homes, and residents who have been placed in secure, affordable rentals. Oh, did I mention the promise not to displace residents? Speaking of taking on moral obligations without knowing how exactly to fulfill promises... C'ville Habitat made a promise to anxious trailer park residents that they would not be displaced, both in Sunrise and the much larger Southwood community.
Southwood is where I will be working. It is the Hundred Acre Wood that would make Winnie the Pooh cry, if you'll forgive my metaphorllusion... The former manager/owner was ready to retire, heard that Habitat had bought another trailer park, and asked them to consider purchasing the land, which holds over three hundred trailers full of individuals and families (many of the trailers being very overcrowded with people, often times more than one family--up to 14 people in one trailer). This is housing of absolute last resort--if displaced, many of these people would face homelessness. The former owner was not able to properly maintain the land, but wanted someone to help the residents. The Board of Charlottesville Habitat took a leap of faith and bought the trailer park, saving it from developers who would surely have developed fancy stuff and caused the displacement of all the residents without a second thought. Greed lost against compassion on that round.
C'ville Habitat staff are working very slowly, trying to keep in contact and communication with the residents to continually assess what they want for the community even as Habitat tries to figure out how to develop, how not to displace, how to build community, and how to find answers to the sustainable ending of generational poverty that no one really knows. Did I mention it's a slow process? They bought Southwood back in 2007, and don't expect to break ground until at least 2014. But true change comes through relationships, not programs, and they are doing something no organization or housing developer has ever done.

Speaking of leaps of faith, did I mention my job doesn't have a title or a description?

Time for the story. I know I just made a huge run-on paragraph, so I'll attempt something more succinct. It's a pretty random story, though...but most certainly a series of events that was clearly meant to be.

A couple of months ago my Grandad celebrated his 80th birthday. At the party in Mt. Airy, I met his cousin, Judy, who has a non-profit called CHIP that works in the C'ville area with children's health. Mom and I visited her shortly after (she's awesome, by the way, and her non-profit is pretty rad, too), and during a tour of the city she drove us past the Sunrise (largely developed from a trailer park to Habitat housing) and the Southwood (still a trailer park at this point) communities. I was impressed, and also struck by how much I miss meaningful work, and how much I like things about Habitat for Humanity. That night I found a position listed on the website and wrote the fastest cover letter ever, which I submitted the next morning (take that, anxiety and perfectionism!). Even though that position was quickly filled with someone local, they were still interested in my application, so I had a phone call which apparently gave a good enough sense of my experience and passion that I was kept in mind when the Family Services department started being re-organized. A second phone call, which I expected to be a check in about whether I wanted to be included in the pool of applicants for the newly-being-created job, ended up being a job offer. Whaaaaaat. After a few hours of reflection I officially accepted the job---all these things leading one to another, how could I have any doubt that this is my next step?

I am super excited. Charlottesville Habitat seems to be very dynamic, very willing to analyze and change and restructure. I am elated to get the chance to get back into work that means something for the world, whatever piece I can contribute. And I am happy that I will be moving into something that will continue to build valuable experience as I figure out what to be when I grow up (is Astronaut Artist still a viable option?).

I have learned a lot in the last year, and have also been reflecting on my time in between "grown up jobs". Pittsboro has been good to me these two years, and as I start a new chapter, I hardly feel that I am closing an old one. Fortunately, I am only going to be about four hours away from the Triangle (which means you should come visit me, too!!)..

There is much that I continue to process, but you're probably tired of reading by now, so I'll just have to make another blog sometime (: I also have a good bit of family traveling this summersend while trying to pack and move, so there will be many people I will not be able to see for the next few weeks before I move. Remember, I'm only moving a few hours away, so weekends are still totally possible!!

I am so excited about this. Everything I have heard about C'ville Habitat seems dynamic and amazing. All the people I have met thus far are super nice. Everyone I've talked to about the move seems to speak well of the area, and many have connections to friends, fire spinning, art, and other great things, and I feel confident that the pieces will continue to fall into place.

I'm thankful for the support of friends and family in this last year, including those I've had the privilege to work with at the Pittsboro Roadhouse and General Store. The staff there will always be my Roadhouse family, and I very much respect the owners, Greg and Maria, and the kind things they do for their Chatham community, often under the radar. If you live in the Triangle area and especially in Pittsboro, I encourage you to support that little family business and community center off of the roundabout.

If you want to come hang out with me while I'm packing my stuff in the next little bit, you should totally do it. I like being kept company while I clean and sort....keeps my mind off of how overwhelming all this could be, and on the exciting parts! And come visit me once I'm settled in Charlottesville. Hooray!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Day of Retribution

I don't even think I can stand to read more than the tiny bit I have seen on facebook and from the first part of an article on the shooting. Sickening, horrifying.... I wonder about men in general, and women in general, and then I bring it back to myself for reference and wonder if the men in my life realize the way that I intake this type of thing, the way I automatically imagine myself in situations of violence against women. Violence against myself. (I imagine my female friends know what I'm talking about.) Surely they can't understand it, quite...the realness. The real possibility. It frightens me. I try not to think about it, just like I try right now to shut out all of the bad things that overwhelm me about the world. For all the circles of good people I keep around, what about that bad apple, known or not, who thinks I am his property and that he has a right? It's not the dark alleyway at night, it's the entirety of everything in a society that turns people into property, men and women, but especially women.

FEMINISM

used to be this thing that I was told was bad, that involved burning your bra and hating men. That message was complete and utter horseshit and it continues to affect so many men and women. The point of feminism is the same as the point of every single fucking movement for equality. EQUALITY. Jesus. It shouldn't be this difficult for people to grasp that if one group of people is regarded as lesser, everyone suffers. Why is that so difficult? Yet this basic fucking concept plagues every aspect of our entire fucking planet. Immigrants are just illegals who should be kicked out, regardless of their own dreams for a better life for themselves and their families. Women should stop whining and just make a sandwich already, they deserve it for showing off those legs. The gays are creepy, who would want to do that with their butthole? and if I don't like it it must be wrong. I worked hard, put in the hours and the investments and I deserve that third home and fourth car, and I don't have to care about those lazy assholes who aren't working hard enough. It's not my fault if they can't feed their children, why am I paying for those benefits? Just let me enjoy my american dream. The planet's resources that other people need to survive don't matter as much as my company's ability to make money, who cares if they run out because I'll be dead then. My purchase of an item that was made under questionable circumstances doesn't matter because I don't know for sure that it was made by child or slave labor....just ignore it.

It's this convoluted mess, this monster that we keep feeding...and I feel like there are a few of us standing on the edge SCREAMING our pleas for everyone to just calm down for just a second, look around, and stop self-destructing.

The point of feminism, as I have grown to understand it and to claim it, is that everyone is lifted up, that all of us have the opportunity to seek our happiness and our best, to have deep, complex relationships with each other that allow all of us to put forth our needs and find the compromises between personalities that let us enjoy the beauty of life.

Sort of the point of any movement, no? If you can't share the waterfountain or sit on the bus with someone, you'll never learn what kind of person they actually are. Instead of friendship, resentment. Instead of relationship, fear. And violence.

----------------------------------------------------
Here are the things I've been reading, which sparked me to write down some of the thoughts that were already churning.

This quote from the nerd article I think applies far beyond just nerd culture... When we see women, and anyone as not just people, but something to be won in any way, we lose humanity.
"But the overall problem is one of a culture where instead of seeing women as, you know, people, protagonists of their own stories just like we are of ours, men are taught that women are things to “earn,” to “win.” That if we try hard enough and persist long enough, we’ll get the girl in the end. Like life is a video game and women, like money and status, are just part of the reward we get for doing well."
ALSO THIS "How much longer are we going to be in denial that there’s a thing called “rape culture” and we ought to do something about it?"
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/27/your-princess-is-in-another-castle-misogyny-entitlement-and-nerds.html

This was suggested under the nerdy article, and I thought it was important as well.
http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/gay-men-and-their-not-so-cute-misogyny-problem

Aaand reading this...
"Except...men and women both need both physical and emotional intimacy, as anyone with any understanding of humans knows. And the two do not always go hand-in-hand, as anyone with any understanding of humans knows."
"You see, a Nice Guy® isn't nice, and never was. He wasn't your friend. He didn't even like you. He was just a guy trying to get in your pants."
http://www.shakesville.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html

Also, found this and have perused just a bit, but it seems nice.
https://twitter.com/hashtag/YesAllWomen?src=tren

Gotta add another to finish reading after work...
"
And here’s the thing: the Friend Zone as we know it? Doesn’t really exist.
I know, I know. “Whaaaaaaaat?!”
The cold hard truth of it is, when you’re hearing “I just want to be friends”, “I like you but…” or the equally dreaded “it would ruin our friendship”, you’re not being thrown in the Friend Zone. What you’re hearing is generations of social pressure telling women that they can’t risk being direct for fear of offending someone. The words may be “You’re just such a good friend to me,” but the intended meaning behind it is “I don’t want to sleep with you.”"
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/06/friend-zone-myth/