I don't even think I can stand to read more than the tiny bit I have seen on facebook and from the first part of an article on the shooting. Sickening, horrifying.... I wonder about men in general, and women in general, and then I bring it back to myself for reference and wonder if the men in my life realize the way that I intake this type of thing, the way I automatically imagine myself in situations of violence against women. Violence against myself. (I imagine my female friends know what I'm talking about.) Surely they can't understand it, quite...the realness. The real possibility. It frightens me. I try not to think about it, just like I try right now to shut out all of the bad things that overwhelm me about the world. For all the circles of good people I keep around, what about that bad apple, known or not, who thinks I am his property and that he has a right? It's not the dark alleyway at night, it's the entirety of everything in a society that turns people into property, men and women, but especially women.
FEMINISM
used to be this thing that I was told was bad, that involved burning your bra and hating men. That message was complete and utter horseshit and it continues to affect so many men and women. The point of feminism is the same as the point of every single fucking movement for equality. EQUALITY. Jesus. It shouldn't be this difficult for people to grasp that if one group of people is regarded as lesser, everyone suffers. Why is that so difficult? Yet this basic fucking concept plagues every aspect of our entire fucking planet. Immigrants are just illegals who should be kicked out, regardless of their own dreams for a better life for themselves and their families. Women should stop whining and just make a sandwich already, they deserve it for showing off those legs. The gays are creepy, who would want to do that with their butthole? and if I don't like it it must be wrong. I worked hard, put in the hours and the investments and I deserve that third home and fourth car, and I don't have to care about those lazy assholes who aren't working hard enough. It's not my fault if they can't feed their children, why am I paying for those benefits? Just let me enjoy my american dream. The planet's resources that other people need to survive don't matter as much as my company's ability to make money, who cares if they run out because I'll be dead then. My purchase of an item that was made under questionable circumstances doesn't matter because I don't know for sure that it was made by child or slave labor....just ignore it.
It's this convoluted mess, this monster that we keep feeding...and I feel like there are a few of us standing on the edge SCREAMING our pleas for everyone to just calm down for just a second, look around, and stop self-destructing.
The point of feminism, as I have grown to understand it and to claim it, is that everyone is lifted up, that all of us have the opportunity to seek our happiness and our best, to have deep, complex relationships with each other that allow all of us to put forth our needs and find the compromises between personalities that let us enjoy the beauty of life.
Sort of the point of any movement, no? If you can't share the waterfountain or sit on the bus with someone, you'll never learn what kind of person they actually are. Instead of friendship, resentment. Instead of relationship, fear. And violence.
----------------------------------------------------
Here are the things I've been reading, which sparked me to write down some of the thoughts that were already churning.
This quote from the nerd article I think applies far beyond just nerd culture... When we see women, and anyone as not just people, but something to be won in any way, we lose humanity.
"But the overall problem is one of a culture where instead of seeing
women as, you know, people, protagonists of their own stories just like
we are of ours, men are taught that women are things to “earn,” to
“win.” That if we try hard enough and persist long enough, we’ll get the
girl in the end. Like life is a video game and women, like money and
status, are just part of the reward we get for doing well."
ALSO THIS "How much longer are we going to be in denial that there’s a thing called “rape culture” and we ought to do something about it?"
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/05/27/your-princess-is-in-another-castle-misogyny-entitlement-and-nerds.html
This was suggested under the nerdy article, and I thought it was important as well.
http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/gay-men-and-their-not-so-cute-misogyny-problem
Aaand reading this...
"Except...men and women both need both physical and
emotional intimacy, as anyone with any understanding of humans knows.
And the two do not always go hand-in-hand, as anyone with any
understanding of humans knows."
"You see, a Nice Guy® isn't nice, and never was. He
wasn't your friend. He didn't even like you. He was just a guy trying
to get in your pants."
http://www.shakesville.com/2007/12/explainer-what-is-nice-guy.html
Also, found this and have perused just a bit, but it seems nice.
https://twitter.com/hashtag/YesAllWomen?src=tren
Gotta add another to finish reading after work...
"
And here’s the thing: the Friend Zone as we know it? Doesn’t really exist.
I know, I know. “Whaaaaaaaat?!”
The cold hard truth of it is, when you’re hearing “I just want to be
friends”, “I like you but…” or the equally dreaded “it would ruin our
friendship”, you’re not being thrown in the Friend Zone. What you’re
hearing is generations of social pressure telling women that they can’t
risk being direct for fear of offending someone. The words may be
“You’re just such a good friend to me,” but the intended meaning behind
it is “I don’t want to sleep with you.”"
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/2011/06/friend-zone-myth/
