Vortizontical

I was playing with an Etch A Sketch just now, and happened to glance down and notice, for the first time in my life, that the knobs are labeled "Vertical" and "Horizontal". Amazing. So much better than just picking it up and turning one to see what the cursor thing does.

Cursor? What is that thing called, anyway? Definitely not cursor. I'm pretty sure Etch A Sketches are a little more oldschool than computers. Or at least, more oldschool than computers with cursors. I can imagine them being invented around the time that computers filled entire rooms and did, like, basic math equations, or whatever they were good for. But I doubt that the cursor was invented yet. Crazy how much technology affects our understanding of things....

But.

Anyways.

The labels made me think about how I've never been able to remember which was which simply on their own. Which is vertical and which is horizontal, that is. And I don't mean the Etch A Sketch knobs; I mean the words themselves. Like, seriously; I've never been able to remember which was which. I always have to think of a short friend of mine who used to say "I'm vertically challenged." And then I remember. She's short, so vertical means up and down, and horizontal means the other way.

Seriously.



Every.

Single.

Time.

I don't know if it's just habit at this point. I might actually know the difference between horizontal and vertical. But I'm not really sure. Because whether or not it's a habit, I do, every time that I read/want to say horizontal and/or vertical, I think, "Vertically challenged people are short people...". And then I know, either which one to say, or which one I'm reading.

I guess I could also think about vertigo, and the fact that it occurs when people are upon heights. What would hortigo be? Fear of Kansas?

Aha. I crack myself up.